81. Self-confidence is success, remembered

Self-confidence is something I taught myself. I discovered that experiencing success builds self-confidence and then it becomes a self perpetuating loop.

Why Success Matters, Even in Small Doses

It doesn’t matter if the success is big or small — what matters is that you acknowledge it. If a task doesn’t get ticked off for some reason then I don’t beat myself up about it. Sometimes, at the end of the day there are two or three small tasks left so I just get to and get them done before I stop and wind down.

Having a list is essential. Without it, it’s easy to look back and think you did nothing all day, even when you’ve done plenty. On days I skip my morning planning, I still make sure to jot down at least one achievement in my planner. That single line is often enough to shift my perspective.

Your experiences of success have to be recent or top of mind in order to maintain a feeling of self-confidence. When you stop feeling successful you lose confidence in yourself. So it is important to constantly measure and acknowledge your successes.

How Success Builds Self-Confidence

I bother writing things down because each success, however small, grows my self-confidence. Feeling successful today makes me more confident about tackling tomorrow’s challenges. Over time, this creates a positive loop: success fuels confidence, and confidence encourages you to take on more.

From my own experience, confidence doesn’t magically appear just because you tell yourself you’re capable. You have to do something, see it through, and recognise that it went well. That’s when real confidence starts to grow. This is where it is useful to have a coach or mentor to lead you to success through carefully planned steps that build your confidence gradually as you successfully complete each step.

I have tried coaches in the past but I prefer working on my own. If you are not getting anywhere on your own don’t write off the process. It may just be that you will make better progress using a mentor or coach.

Sometimes we refuse to see the success

When I first opened my pattern shop, I dreaded Etsy customer messages. My stomach would tighten every time one appeared. It wasn’t until I reviewed months of past conversations that I realised the majority were either compliments or simple requests for help. Seeing that I was already succeeding gave me the confidence to face new messages without fear.

This taught me that self-confidence is built on proof — not just positive thinking. And that proof comes from noticing and acknowledging your successes. It’s easy to create a false story regarding your success. Our brains need a little help to see the good things. I had in my head that if a customer was messaging me it must be bad. I had to carefully read and analyse the messages before I could be convinced that getting a customer message was mostly good.

Journaling That Works for Me

The stage I am at now with my journaling has come on gradually. These days, I spend time both planning for the day and reflecting on it. I used to write quick notes in my planner, but I’ve moved to a full-page daily journal. Each entry has a heading with the date, and if I’m using loose-leaf pages, I include the year as well.

I’ve also developed a style that feels personal but not uncomfortably revealing. I don’t use names, and I keep medical details vague. I still think about the specifics, but on paper I only note what’s needed for me to recall the moment later. This gives me the benefits of journaling — clarity, reflection, and perspective — without recording anything I’d feel uneasy about someone else reading.

A 30 Day Journal to Build Self-Confidence

I used Chat GPT to help me fine tune a self-confidence journey. I came up with the idea. I designed some worksheets that I wanted to fill in for myself and I decided the daily journal pages should be the same as the ones I use now. I then asked Chat GPT to refine the names of the worksheets and put them in a logical order. It suggested that I include a one page intro for each work sheet to help explain it. It then asked if I wanted a program overview page to introduce the journal. Sure, I said. It sounded like a good idea. The last suggestion was a welcome letter including my personal experience to make it all sound personal and encouraging. Why not?

I thought all these additions were great ideas that rounded out the journal into something more substantial and user friendly. I carefully read each suggested addition and made a few tweaks so it sounded a bit more like me. I really liked the professional feel of the whole thing. It is something I am proud of and I will be printing and filling out the work sheets to increase my understanding of myself.

Confidence is simply success, remembered. Each tick on the list, each small win, and each note in my journal is a reminder that I’m capable — and that’s worth recording every single day.

I’m pretty good at writing an essay or writing a factual article. Where I struggle is writing a pleasing narrative that is informal yet interesting. I lack story telling skills and I am not prepared to spend years or lots of money training to become a great story teller. What I am good at is asking Chat GPT questions and providing information so I get an end product that is better than I could write but also something I think I would have written if I had better writing skills. If I didn’t have AI to help me I still wouldn’t be taking courses but my newsletter would be disappointing to me. I might even feel like I couldn’t share my opinions and insights. So what started out as a rambling and boring stream of consciousness for a newsletter this week has ended up being something that I feel happier to publish and it has all the same content.

The same with the journal. Using ChatGPT has helped me turn 30 days of lined pages with a few worksheets at the front into a polished 30 day program to build self-confidence.

I am pleased to include the 30 day journal as part of my paid subscriber resources.

It took me a bit longer than I expected to polish the program so I decided to just skip last week’s newsletter and wait for this week.

The file is formatted to A4 but it prints nicely on A5 and B5 just by choosing the different paper size when printing. This is my B5 journal. I printed on blank B5 paper and punched the holes.

There are guidance pages and worksheets.

I bought a B5 disc bound notebook with lined pages so I can put the worksheets in the front and use the lined pages for journaling. At present I will continue using my hardcover notebooks for journaling while keeping the worksheets in this notebook.

Cheers,

Val